been going out wit guy for 2 1/2 years now, had a bad history with him…abused me, cheated on me, has no respect for any women. But i fell in love with him then…. now I want to go away and start living my great live( im 20) but on the other hand i dont want to go, cause i know he needs me cause he has no one else cause of his behavior.He is kinda like my comfort zone. im a strong person, but this kinda gets me down, especially when im in a good mood(like i always am) and he brings it down with his anger, childishness or irritating sarcasm. he wants to go to iraq cause heis father organised work for him there and im studying beauty care and health and aromatherapy and im working 8-5 every day…. so i got alot of stress actually and i dont need this shit from him any longer. hi jealous, never laughing, and hates it when i talk to people in town-cause then he says that im having an affair with some1.please help, dont know what 2 do anymore. PS. my parents dont like him.This IS SERIOUS
Obviously you don’t seem happy with this jerk. This guy doesn’t sound like a good comfort zone!!! You need someone who makes you laugh and never cry, one who whispers in you ear and not yell in your face, one who treats you like a lady and not like an object. My advice is to leave him. You sound like a very energetic and positive person and this guy is draining all of that from you with his childlike behavior and immaturity. Since you are a strong person then you are strong enough to leave him. now with wourk you are going to need someone who supports you and this jerk doesnt look like he is going to. Leave him mami. God Bless
i have a problem!!!?
02
Nov
navyhm1983
November 2, 2009 at 7:40 am
GO !!!
Are you insane girl??? How can you love a person that has done all that to you???
How can you say, But he needs me??? NO NO NO he doesn’t need you and you don’t NEED him.
Time to get the hell out of Dodge and don’t look back not even once!!!
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manalonedubai
November 2, 2009 at 8:30 am
is he the only man on the planet for u? just get rid of him and find yr real partner.
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bluesman1
November 2, 2009 at 8:47 am
well it seems pretty self explanitory
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deedonutdid
November 2, 2009 at 9:00 am
sounds like a lot to love, physical, mental, verbal abuse. a real catch! answer your own question……you have to know the answer.
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tiggleman27
November 2, 2009 at 9:09 am
the absolute best thing is to leave him and go your seperate ways if he has an anger problem in hte fututre it might be taken out on you in very abuseve forms. do your self the favor.
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mick
November 2, 2009 at 9:42 am
As it says in the good book pick up thy bed and walk.
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GRUMPY1LUVS2EAT
November 2, 2009 at 10:03 am
Go away and start a new life, this guy just wants you around to feed his ego. You deserve better and a new place will help this. Forget the jerk, you will be fine!
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dodgecitykitty1966
November 2, 2009 at 10:53 am
Honey it is time to step out of your comfort zone. Go on and live your great life and enjoy the hell out of it without this creep.
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stormyblythe
November 2, 2009 at 11:33 am
i advise u to get out while u can sounds like u stay with him hes going to end up hurting u bad
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Steph
November 2, 2009 at 11:41 am
Go.. Get away.. I am telling you straight from experience.. Go!!!
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McyD
November 2, 2009 at 11:48 am
Hon, any man that abused me and cheated on me wouldn’t get another second of my time. Why are you wasting yours on him? You say he needs you….as what, a punching bag? Drop him, move on, and become a great Cosmetologist. I am on your parents side. I don’t like him either.
Good luck!
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curious
November 2, 2009 at 12:34 pm
well sweetie its plain to see you know what you have to do in order to b happy you have to please your self if your not getting any satisfaction form him just move on and do you boo
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wishingstar50
November 2, 2009 at 1:02 pm
I think you are weak but you need to run far , run fast but run to a new life as far away as You can get . I think you might have another problem with this person. He is probably going to stalk you .
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luvs2play06
November 2, 2009 at 1:28 pm
let him go to Iraq but don’t go with him
forget about him & move on b/c he is not worth it
what kind of a lover is like that no matter what the circumstances
& im sure u deserve a better guy so dump him hunny or u will regret it..just let him go..
wish u all the best
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Dragonguy
November 2, 2009 at 1:43 pm
ok well you still have long life and you can meet other people but you are now a women a grow pu girl so do waht you hearts deseires ok well remember always do what your heart says ok
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Suzi
November 2, 2009 at 2:28 pm
you need to carefully get out of this crap. push him into going to Iraq with his dad and move on woman. He is too dangerous. Save yourself.
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kattsmeows
November 2, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Seriously, you know you need to get out of that.
Let me tell you, my mom has been in one bad relationship after another. The signs are clear and they (normally) never change unless they have some spiritual intervention. (Which comes from within, nothing you can do or say.)
Live your life and not in fear.
Good wishes.
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i love my son
November 2, 2009 at 3:55 pm
i didn’t even read all of your question if he’s hit you why would you want to be with him do you think it’ll stop ? the first time always leads to another move and forget him you can do better and better is out there some where
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dymphna
November 2, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Get out now while you can!!!!!!
It will only get worse……
take it from me I’ve been in this type of marriage for 21 years. As soon as my youngest who is now 16 leaves I’m outta here.
maya SZ
November 2, 2009 at 4:24 pm
leave him he not going to change you know that right and time by time it going to get worst so dump him move on with your life he doesn;t need you if he did he will never abused you
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country_girl
November 2, 2009 at 4:29 pm
well,i guess you have your answers,just get him out of your way!!
why do you want to be with someone who doesn’t love and respect you and your love?trust me he is good for nothing,hes just using you and is gonna keep doing so untill you be firm and start thinking about your life and future!!
there is no point feeling sad for him bocos he chooses to be the way he is and he knows what he is doing,trying to emotionally hold u back,please realise whats good for you and move on with life….dont u think you deserve someone loving and caring who would respect you for all that you are?
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EL Big Ed
November 2, 2009 at 5:19 pm
You are Not strong like you state if you where you would realize that he’s not worth it. This so called man to me is a P**** to hit and abuse a woman and still want to call yourself a man. Let him go up against a real man see if he doesn’t run like a Boy. You on the other hand needs to leave this Stupid relation. Your Parents are right by hating Him !!!!!
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Dwayne
November 2, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Yes, you really have a problem. A problem that can be solved in a simple way. End the "relationship" that you have with him.
Don’t this answer everything. "he has no one else cause of his behavior". So you are going to be the one to put up with his shit. Just because he can’t get anyone else. I wonder why he can’t get anyone else.
Maybe he will find someone in Iraq that will put up with his bullshit.
Like you said you are 20 years old. You have your ENTIRE life ahead of you. You are bound to find Mr. Wonderfully Right soon enough.
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Debbyboop
November 2, 2009 at 5:56 pm
You are co-dependent. Do some research on this. This is not a relationship, you are being a caregiver and thats not love. If we rely on others for our happiness then we are in a tough spot. If they are not happy, then we are not happy. We have to create our own happiness and we are responsible for that. You have to define who you are and not allow others to have that responsibility. Get to know yourself, love yourself and you will become picky about who is in your life, because you will know you deserve the very best. You cannot fix a broken person, no matter how hard you try. Approx, 95 percent of these kind of people will not change, 5 percent is not very good odds. So visualize the rest of your life like this, not to pretty huh. We cannot fix people, they have to make that decision. If you reach for change, someday you will look back at this and think "what the heck was I thinking". Your parents and friends love you and have every reason to feel dislike towards your boyfriend. What if this was your daughter, would you want her in this relationship? We all dream of happiness for our children and those we love. We should wish the same things for ourselves. A good therapist could help you out with this. Do a search for the "popcorn machine parable"…
peace to you…
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yen12rs
November 2, 2009 at 6:05 pm
wat do you think is the best thing to do?
what do you want me to say?
are you so blind?
2 1/2 years wasted when you could have had a better life!
i think you like the idea that he needs you!
give yourelf a break and get a real man!
looks to me that you are so weak and trying to convince yourself that you are strong! if you are so strong you would have left him a long time ago!
wake up !
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needtoknow
November 2, 2009 at 6:27 pm
He doesn’t love u, he wants to control u, and i will bet when u talk about leaving, or have left, he tells u he loves u and will change. take advice from someone who has been there and done that…………leave now.and don’t look back, one day you will wake up be in your late 30′s and wonder what u have done with your life. and regret every moment
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Micah
November 2, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Go ahead and give your young life away to someone who doesn’t
deserve your love. You have a chance to make a good life for yourself. Let him go and learn how to have a happy and
successful life. Learn how to laugh with no one repressing your
happiness. The ability to laugh is good for your health.
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Alexander Shannon
November 2, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Hon……. it speaks well of you that you care but leave him.
He needs someone to abuse.
YOU’d better have a good long stare at yourself.
How did you fall for such a man? Why did you stay?
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Puma
November 2, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Obviously you don’t seem happy with this jerk. This guy doesn’t sound like a good comfort zone!!! You need someone who makes you laugh and never cry, one who whispers in you ear and not yell in your face, one who treats you like a lady and not like an object. My advice is to leave him. You sound like a very energetic and positive person and this guy is draining all of that from you with his childlike behavior and immaturity. Since you are a strong person then you are strong enough to leave him. now with wourk you are going to need someone who supports you and this jerk doesnt look like he is going to. Leave him mami. God Bless
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joanelmore
November 2, 2009 at 8:11 pm
you are so young to be stuck with a loser like that. you don’t love him, you are just comfortable with him. no matter how bad he treats you he is consistent in his treatment. take it from someone who has been where you are…leave now before it brings you down to the point that you believe you don’t deserve any better. i know it’s hard to leave but unless you want a worse life with him than you have now, you had better cut your losses. there is a reason why you date someone like him, if you don’t figure out what that reason is you will surely date another "him". good luck in your life and be happy
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pirategurl
November 2, 2009 at 8:18 pm
LEAVE NOW!! Don’t ever return. You are not Mother Teresa and you can’t change someone. This is a road to more destructive behavior. He is just testing you. He beats you but then he shows you attention. He is trying to see how far he can go and he knows now that you are willing to put up with it. He is pychopathic and has deep issues.
You need to be very careful when you leave, it will not be easily recieved by him and he may try to hurt you. If you have to, go to the police and ask them to escort you out. Get a restraining order, I now everyone says that won’t stop him but he even tries at least they can look him up. You are in pretty deep. I hate to scare you but your parents may be in danger as well. If he feels that they inflluenced you to leave, him may retalitate against them. Oh you poor thing. I have a friend that always seems to date "damaged goods" and she thinks she can change them. She will even tell you, you can’t change what doesn’t want to change. Tell him to go to Iraq, he will be the best thing for him.
Good luck and be CAREFUL!
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strawberries
November 2, 2009 at 8:51 pm
You have told us all these negative things about this guy. He brings you down, is always negative and irritating. Why are you even contemplating allowing this guy to be in your life? You want to stay in his life because everyone else has left him? You need to stop feeling sorry for this guy because he is not feeling sorry for you. From what you have said it is very obvious the only person he cares about is himself. You do not need this guy in your life because he does not care about you. He will just continue to bring you down. Move on and forget him! He is DEFINITELY not worth it!
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chris_w conga
November 2, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Y didn’t u call the cops? I assure u. U don’t need that, this sounds like one of my "family stories" when my dad went to jail for 21 years and now everything’s A-OK.
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Captain S
November 2, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Young lady, if what you love fails to sustain you, find something else to love. You are in no way obligated to tend to anyone’s bruised psyche or repair damage you didn’t create. And if you can recognize emotional insecurity as such ( and it seems you can), you can also steer yourself clear of it. Jealousy and controlling behaviors have nothing to do with love, and everything to do with insecurities; add to that a lack of respect and you’ve got a completely distasteful combination. Here’s where I got a little bit lost: What about this guy did you find even remotely comforting when you described him as your "comfort zone"? The abuse and cheating alone are irrevocable grounds for him to be gone, so what’s the missing element that endears him to you? ( I can understand your parents not liking him; I’ve never even met him and I don’t like him, either). What do you intend to do? You’ve already got a firm handle on all of the facts. Good luck.
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jane
November 2, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Yeah A Very Big Problem
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