Comments on: What is style in writing and making a piece of written english flow? http://beautybinge.com/beauty-aromatherapy/what-is-style-in-writing-and-making-a-piece-of-written-english-flow Tue, 27 Apr 2010 01:31:11 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Thrill K http://beautybinge.com/beauty-aromatherapy/what-is-style-in-writing-and-making-a-piece-of-written-english-flow/comment-page-1#comment-106 Thrill K Sun, 01 Nov 2009 20:24:59 +0000 http://beautybinge.com/beauty-aromatherapy/what-is-style-in-writing-and-making-a-piece-of-written-english-flow#comment-106 Your sentence structure isn't consistent, and you use to many qualifiers in describing some things. I know that sounds like "umm...what" but I'll give you an example: "May possibly look at the use of complementary practises as they have been shown to be beneficial in assisting the reduction of stress..." "May possibly" is redundant. You only need to use "May" or "possibly" but not both. you can drop the word "been" and the words "in assisting the" and change reduction to "reducing" I think this is what your paragraph should look like. May look at the use of complementary practices as they have been shown to be beneficial in reducing stress. Students from the local college have expressed an interest in practicing aromatherapy massage on volunteers to gain experience for themselves. Surely, this is a win-win scenario as such co-ordination would come with a remit of the post.(not sure what a remit of the post is, you may want to be sure that is clarified better) Complementary alternative therapies are rarely regarded as having a role in therapeutic healthcare environments but, as people become exposed to them, they may regard them as beneficial to their well-being and contributing to increased health "<br><b>References : </b><br> Your sentence structure isn’t consistent, and you use to many qualifiers in describing some things. I know that sounds like "umm…what" but I’ll give you an example:

"May possibly look at the use of complementary practises as they have been shown to be beneficial in assisting the reduction of stress…"

"May possibly" is redundant. You only need to use "May" or "possibly" but not both.

you can drop the word "been" and the words "in assisting the" and change reduction to "reducing"

I think this is what your paragraph should look like.

May look at the use of complementary practices as they have been shown to be beneficial in reducing stress. Students from the local college have expressed an interest in practicing aromatherapy massage on volunteers to gain experience for themselves. Surely, this is a win-win scenario as such co-ordination would come with a remit of the post.(not sure what a remit of the post is, you may want to be sure that is clarified better) Complementary alternative therapies are rarely regarded as having a role in therapeutic healthcare environments but, as people become exposed to them, they may regard them as beneficial to their well-being and contributing to increased health "
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]]> By: Heaven Forbid http://beautybinge.com/beauty-aromatherapy/what-is-style-in-writing-and-making-a-piece-of-written-english-flow/comment-page-1#comment-105 Heaven Forbid Sun, 01 Nov 2009 20:08:59 +0000 http://beautybinge.com/beauty-aromatherapy/what-is-style-in-writing-and-making-a-piece-of-written-english-flow#comment-105 make your sentences shorter so it doesn't get too complicated. that way it doesn't slow down someone's reading speed more punctuation as well - not just . and , but ' () ; : - etc :]<br><b>References : </b><br> make your sentences shorter so it doesn’t get too complicated. that way it doesn’t slow down someone’s reading speed
more punctuation as well – not just . and , but ‘ () ; : – etc
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]]> By: Sean http://beautybinge.com/beauty-aromatherapy/what-is-style-in-writing-and-making-a-piece-of-written-english-flow/comment-page-1#comment-104 Sean Sun, 01 Nov 2009 19:26:59 +0000 http://beautybinge.com/beauty-aromatherapy/what-is-style-in-writing-and-making-a-piece-of-written-english-flow#comment-104 The first thing I notice are run-on sentences. I also see misuse of basic punctuation (periods and commas). Each of these will result in a clumsy style. Try reading your work aloud and hearing whether or not it flows smoothly. Another thing is to underline your sentences in alternating colors (a light and a dark color) and you will be able to see if you have a variety of sentence lengths. This helps in flow. Too many short sentences and the style is choppy. Too many long sentences and your reader will get lost (which is what I also noticed from your sample). A short sentence can break the monotony, and a long sentence can provide some style providing it is clearly written. Hope this helps, Sean<br><b>References : </b><br> The first thing I notice are run-on sentences. I also see misuse of basic punctuation (periods and commas). Each of these will result in a clumsy style. Try reading your work aloud and hearing whether or not it flows smoothly. Another thing is to underline your sentences in alternating colors (a light and a dark color) and you will be able to see if you have a variety of sentence lengths. This helps in flow. Too many short sentences and the style is choppy. Too many long sentences and your reader will get lost (which is what I also noticed from your sample). A short sentence can break the monotony, and a long sentence can provide some style providing it is clearly written.

Hope this helps,

Sean
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